Finding balance in a chaotic world

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I Can’t Get No…

So for my birthday a couple of years ago, my mother gave meiPod Shuffle an iPod shuffle. It turns out that 1gb is just over a week’s worth of listening when I head to work and back so the gift was just perfect for me. I put a couple of podcasts on it and then have iTunes randomly grab music from my collection.

 

I’ve also found that part of the reason I can go through 1gb of music in a week’s worth of driving is because I’m constantly skipping to the next song. Sometimes, it is because I’m just not in the mood for the current song, or maybe it is just one I don’t care for. But a lot of times I find myself enjoying the song I’m listening to when suddenly I wonder what the next one will be.

 

This is frustrating to me because I should be able to enjoy what is currently happening and not worry about what is next. The song will end on its own and then another one will start. That does not seem to be good enough though. I find myself thinking “I like this song, but what if I like the next one even more?” There is no rational explanation for why I cannot just be satisfied with what I have; I’m always wondering what is next.

 

I have the same issue with food, especially if it is something I really like. I’ll be halfway through a bite and immediately want to take another. I’m not even finished with the first bite that I enjoyed just a second ago and already I want to hurry and swallow it so I can experience the joy of another one.

 

I don’t seem to have this issue with other things, like say books or movies. When I start to read a book or watch a movie, I’m in it until the end, even if I don’t like it. I know that if I put the book down or stop the movie, I’ll always wonder how it ended, so I keep soldiering on (as an aside, this became truly evident to me when reading the first Wheel of Time book. Halfway through I wanted to put it down, but I would always wonder if it got better and there was no way I was going to read the beginning twice).

 

A song I like or a meal that is flavorful give me a quick burst of satisfaction when I first encounter them, but like many things, I become adjusted to the satisfaction and immediately want to experience it again. So I skip to the next song or hurry another bite. Boom, again the satisfaction comes and quickly wanes. Later, rinse, repeat.

 

I have found that I need to mentally tell myself to slow down, relax, and enjoy what I am experiencing. Don’t wonder what comes next, because it will surely come and I’ll get to enjoy it again. In fact, my enjoyment should increase since I’m stretching out the listening or tasting over a longer period of time. Still, the fact that I must remind myself tells me that I need to work on the here and now, let tomorrow take care of itself.