One of the great things about the cruise is the level of service you receive there. Everyone is very friendly and helpful, especially the wait staff. I can only think of a couple of other times I’ve experienced service at that level. What became glaringly obvious to me during that week is that the majority of people have no idea about etiquette and manners. Typically it is not done spitefully, but still people seem to lack even the basic habits of a civilized society and I think that it is time to bring manners back.

Now, I’m not talking about things like knowing which fork to use when (although the answer is always work from the outside in). When you sit down to eat and you have six forks and three spoons in front of you, it can make a normal situation seem confusing. I’m referring to more common courtesy. Please, and thank you type stuff.

A few years back, I decided that I needed to learn the basic rules of etiquette. So in my normal fashion, I checked out a few books from the library, including one by Emily Post’s son. I read them all and internalized the most important skills. While on the cruise, I felt that I was the only one on the ship to have done so.

I understand that society has become more causal, and I’m fine with that, but there are still basic behaviors that can be conducted without seeming archaic. Some examples from the cruise:

·         Saying “please” and “thank you” when your wait staff brings you something or asks you something. This was something I saw constantly. Glasses being refilled, plates being placed in front of you, dirty plates taken away, and never a thank you given.

·         Dressing appropriately. On the ship the main dining room has a dress code but if you do not wish to follow the dress code, there are other dining areas available to you. Still I saw hats and shorts being worn in the main dining room at dinner. Obviously, the cruise staff isn’t going to make a big deal about it to their customers, but it does show a lack of respect for others.

·         Ladies first. The wait staff would always ask the ladies for their orders first and would bring them out first, but a few men never caught on to this. As soon as their wife ordered, they would. Again, not a big deal and certainly not intentionally rude, but a little off putting.

·         Inappropriate language. I did not see this happen too often, but on occasion I could hear someone uttering vulgarities in quite a loud voice. In an adult environment, I’m more lenient about this, but when there are children around, I see no reason to use such language.

There is one I struggle with though, and that is rising from my seat when a lady approaches the table. The very first night of our cruise, Amy and I were the first to our table. Another couple arrived and I started to get out of my chair, but I hesitated because first, they came to the table very quickly, and secondly I realized that no one would know why I was doing it and I might look awkward. I’ve since decided (and after talking Brett at Art of Manliness) that I should just do it and brush it off as “my mother always told me to stand in the presence of a lady” so that I don’t seem pompous. Remember, etiquette is a skill and skills take practice.

So I encourage everyone to practice their manner skills. It makes society much more pleasant and, I feel, makes you a more balanced person. After all, you are now as concerned about others as you are yourself.