I’ve mentioned that growing up I was a geek in the classic sense of the word. I liked computers, games of all kinds, Star Wars, and comic books. Interestingly, I still like all that stuff but I’m no longer a geek. The difference between now and then? Social skills. Unfortunately, it took me until deep into High School to realize that how I interacted with people had a direct affect on both them and myself. I climbed down off my high horse and realized that what I thought made me superior was really just a defense mechanism and made it harder for people to like me.

Of course, a lot of that is also regular High School stuff, but I’m often amazed at how many people never grow out of that behavior. A lot of the freelance writing I do is based on table top games. Consequently, I often go to different game conventions around the country, either to promote a particular game or to report on the convention itself. The largest of these conventions regularly brings 30,000 people or more into one area and boy is there a wide assortment of characters out there.

Usually there is a dealer’s room where game manufacturers and other retailers set up a booth, demo their games for anyone who passes by, and hopefully make a few sales. I tell you, there is no more soul draining experience than manning a booth at one of these shows for four days straight. Now don’t get me wrong, the majority of people I encounter are well adjusted, rational folks with a good sense of hygiene, but man those that don’t stay with you for a while.

Society requires its members to function well together as a whole or the society collapses. Our society, however, has so many people in it that as long as the majority function together, it can carry those that do not. But, what do you do when you encounter someone like that? Unfortunately, there is not much you can do. If you happen to be friends with them, you can politely confront them about their behavior, but do not expect it to make much of a difference. Remember, the listener has to want to hear the message being sent to them.

Another option is to encourage them to join you with other people in more mundane activities and quietly coach them on what to do. Ideally they will be out of their element and look towards you for guidance and therefore much more receptive of your message. Include them, when possible, in conversations and basically show them how to act. You would be surprised how often social interaction is confusing because the challenged person has simply never been taught the way to act. I know in my deepest geekiness I had no idea how to interact with a group of strangers so I simply withdrew and prided myself in how I wasn’t like them. It took a good group of friends a couple of years for me to actually hone my skills.

Few things are more awkward than dealing with someone without basic social skills, yet we encounter them all the time. It takes patience and acceptance, but ultimately it is a skill and skills can be learned.

This post was inspired by a few people I’ve met recently, and is a little off the path of what I normally write about. Hopefully it’s useful.