I was talking with a friend last night over dinner about this blog. It got me thinking about what it was that prompted me to really consider balance in all things to be a workable, healthy mantra. I remember feeling overwhelmed with everything going on and being relieved if there was just one night a week where I did not have something that needed to be done. I realized that running from appointment to appointment was no way to live a life, so I examined what was causing all of this activity? There were quite a few things going on in my life, but the one that caused the most activity was church.

Now I truly enjoy my church and the people in it. Being a Southern Baptist has contributed mightily to me finding balance, as I feel that it guides you into thinking about long-term effects of your actions and also gives you someone to turn to for peace and advice. You gain an amazing support group and guidance as well as a group of peers to share time and experiences with. My experience at church is an overwhelming net positive for me.

Unfortunately at the church there is always something that needs to be done. Child care, teaching Sunday School, playing music, leading bible studies, ushering, parking help, manning the information desk, signing in the choir, working the sound board, manning the computer screens, checking in people, the list goes on and on. Since I like my church and the people in it, I try to help out where I can. Of the above list, I’ve done over half of those things. But here is where the problem arises. Remember back when I talked about the 80-20 rule? Well the sad truth is that in the modern church, 80% of the work is done by 20% of the people. The vast majority of church goers are consumers.

Those 20% suddenly find themselves with church-based activities four nights a week. An organizational meeting on Monday, rehearsal on Wednesday, a social group on Friday, church on Sunday, for example. It starts to feel like you spend more time up at the church than at home. And the sad thing is that it is not the church’s fault, but rather the congregation, who has more than enough people to do the tasks set out before them but not enough people who actually do it.

And this was where I found myself. I was playing drums in the orchestra, organizing my Sunday School class, my wife was doing child care and children’s choir, my daughter went to group meetings, our Sunday School would have a social event, and it went on and on. Amy and I both agreed that if we were using services of the church, such as child care, it was only fair if we helped out when we could. But it just became too much.

Now the first reaction to this kind of situation is to just stop everything, recharge, and then, some time in the future, go back to it. I think that that becomes self-defeating. Typically you stop everything and then never quite feel recharged enough to give it another go. Instead we looked at the activities we were involved in and just started paring back. We returned our lives to a reasonable level of commitment and distressed our lives in the process.

But it was difficult because we knew that the things we stopped doing still needed to be done and someone else would have to pick up the slack. In an ideal situation someone who had yet to do something would see the openings and grab them, but we knew that would probably not be the case. Still we felt it was much better to do some things than no things.

By keeping a reasonable amount of commitments we continue to grow spiritually and enjoy our church life. More importantly we avoided burnout and still continue to serve. Now for you, it may not be church that does this; maybe you have other volunteering obligations like coaching or mentoring. Whatever it is, if you feel overwhelmed by it, trying paring back a little rather than quitting outright. It is a little more difficult but in the long run it should make the better difference.