My greatest struggle in dealing with stress is all in my head. I have a significant disconnect between my emotional self and my rational self and frankly I’m not sure what to do about it. In a nutshell, I know that at some point the stress will go away. Very few things in life could cause stress for the rest of your life, so what you are going through will end eventually. Job loss, missed deadlines on a project, and arguments with friends or family, all are eventually taken care of one way or another. I know this, and my brain knows this, but my heart does not.

On a trip back from visiting my Grandmother in Maine, our plane pulled away from the gate and sat on the runway as a thunderstorm came through. The airport was closed for takeoffs and landings while the storm was there and we were stuck on the tarmac. I was out of control of the situation and it was causing me a great deal of stress. Now I knew that eventually the plane would take off and eventually I would get home with my family but for the moment, I felt very tense and anxious. It turned out we had to wait an hour-and-a-half before we could take off and although we missed our connecting flight we were able to get on the next one with no major issue. The kids did not even seem to mind too much, but Dad had to work hard to relax and dump the adrenaline in his bloodstream.

I’ve always had minor issues dealing with my emotions and so this does not come as a large surprise to me, but what did was the fact that when I mention this to other people, they too have the same issue. Collectively as a culture we seem to be able to separate the rational from the emotional but have difficulty using the rational to help reduce the impact of the emotional.

In doing some research to help me I came across some suggestions in how to deal with these issues:

• Praying. Knowing that God is out there and is infinitely more interested in your life than you are means that you can ask him for the peace you are looking for.
• Deep breathing. When stress hits, your body automatically starts taking shallow breaths instead of normal ones in response to the fight or flight imperative. By taking deep, rhythmic breaths, you help to lower your heart rate and relax your body.
• Music. Music has the power to alter emotions so putting on headphones and closing your eyes to completely absorb the music can help to dissipate the stressful feelings.
• Visualization. You can “go to your happy place” in times of stress. By closing your eyes and concentrating on the details of your ideal, relaxing place, you can mitigate the stress effects.
• Creative writing. By writing out your fears about the current situation, both rational and irrational, you help to expunge them from your subconscious and face them head on.

I’ve tried all of these at one time or another and they all work well. I’m still missing the ability to simply transfer my rational knowledge to my emotional self and bypass the emotional response directly, however. So what things do you do to help yourself deal with the stress in your lives?