Yesterday I posted about my participation in a group called Melee. In a nutshell, you dressed up in medieval garb, grabbed weapons made from padded PVC and competed in mock battles. The ultimate issue of the post was that you should keep your head in stressful situations, but I also mentioned how joining this group changed my life forever. It sounds melodramatic, but it is true. This just goes to show you that even the most innocent things can have a huge impact on your life.

So one day I was at the local game store looking over what was new. On the way out I looked closely at a poster hanging in the shop telling me about this group that fought medieval battles. I’d seen it before (it was hard to ignore being neon pink, but it was the 80s) but for some reason this time it grabbed my attention. I picked up a flyer with some more info and left the store. Eventually I called about it to see what it was like and after getting the rundown, agreed to go out the next Saturday.

I met a surprisingly friendly group of people. They gave me the basics on fighting and how the game worked and then we went at it. I was horrible, of course, but I had fun. This was unlike anything I had ever done before and it spoke to me. I went back the next Saturday and for many more Saturday’s after that. This was during my Junior year in high school.

As time went on, I got to know the people behind the scenes and it turned out they were only slightly older than me. We struck up friendships and soon were doing all kinds of things outside of the normal Saturday practice. By the time I was nearing the end of my Senior year, I had the most solid group of friends I’d ever had.

Originally I had planned to go off to college in Rhode Island, but one of my friends, Dave, suggested we go to school at the University of Tulsa and room together. Mike also decided to go to TU and grabbed another room in our suite. It did not take long for us to constantly have people over to the dorm room. It got so people who did not even go to TU were considered students there because they showed up so often. We were arrogant and felt invincible, like many college kids.

I met my future wife indirectly through the group as well. One day I was going over to Mike’s (who created Melee) and was pulled over for speeding. Since I was still a minor, I had to go to court to plead guilty or not guilty on my ticket and from across the courtroom I saw Amy. 8 hours of defensive driving and 6 years of dating later, she became my wife.

Over time this core group of friends (we called ourselves “The Guys” because we are lazy like that) continued to do things together. There were the normal flare ups with that many personalities in a group (there are about ten of us), especially during our 20s. Some people moved away, others came into the group, but we always kept in touch. As we entered our 30s, a lot of the animosity and petty issues that came up between us disappeared as we realized how important our friendships were. We realized we were very lucky and we wanted to be sure it continued.

I mentioned previously how important family identity is. I felt the same feeling about this group of friends. In the end I created a webpage full of pictures from our history, a mailing list, and a message board, all to reinforce the idea that we are a group of related friends and that our friendship is important. Now everyone is instant communication with everyone and as a group we have never been closer. We truly have friendships worth celebrating.

When I’m feeling nostalgic, I wonder what my life would be like if I that poster had not caught my eye. I’d have different friends, odds are I’d never have met my wife, and I most likely would be living in an entirely different state. One small action had amazing repercussions on my life and it is humbling to think about.

So how about you? Do you have long-term friendships that have weathered the test of time? If so, I strongly encourage you to celebrate it together. With our increasingly insular and cocooned existences we need to cherish our time with our friends. Make the effort to reconnect and build something together as a group. It will be grand, I promise you.