So picture this. It is the second day of school for my daughter. She is attending pre-K at the local elementary school and I had taken the first day off so we could all go as a family. Since I get off work fairly early I wanted to pick her up after school to hear all about her day. So this is the first time I get to do this and I’m anxious about being late. As fate would have it, traffic is heavy on the way to the highway. In front of me is a guy in a new Mercedes talking on his cell phone. The temp tag is laying on the back window of the car, illegible. He keeps sitting there in the stop and go traffic, only moving up long after everyone else has. It is frustrating me, but since traffic is moving at all of 25 mph it’s not like he is holding me back. We finally make it to the on ramp and he is still dawdling up the hill (and gabbing on his cell phone). Apparently he felt I was tailgating him so he brake checks me. At this point, I’m thinking “Fine, just get on the highway and I’ll pass you later.” I take my foot off of the accelerator and wait for him to move on, but he has a different idea.

Keep in mind we are still on the onramp to the highway and there are cars behind us. Even though I’m drifting farther away from him, he still is carrying some kind of hate for me. He stops his car on the onramp and gets out, yelling at me. Of course this guy is huge, wearing a sleeve-less t-shirt and having tattoos up his arms. He is yelling “What?” at me as he walks towards my car. I motion him to just get back in his car and go, but I realize at this point he has committed himself and his ego will not let him just turnaround and go back. With my heart pounding, I think about my options. The temporary tag on the car is illegible so no legal recourse there. I have a collapsible police baton I keep in my car for just such an emergency, but truthfully I don’t see how that will help my current situation. I don’t want to be late to pick up my daughter at school and this Neanderthal is wants to do who knows what for some perceived insult.

I’m actually amazed at how calm I was during the situation. I mean my heart was pounding and the adrenaline was flowing fully throughout my body. I was aware of my surroundings and checking off a mental list of my options. One thing my eyes discovered was that while he parked in the middle of the on-ramp, there was ample space to maneuver my Corolla around. While he was halfway between my car and his I maneuver around his car and continue on the on-ramp. As I’m driving around him, I hear a loud thump on the rear quarter-panel of my car. Apparently he was mad enough to punch my car. I continued on without stopping, noticing in my rear view mirror that now he had to walk back to his car while everyone else drove around him, and merged into the highway traffic.

At this point the adrenaline gives out and my heart is beating like a jackhammer. Sweat covers my body as I try to adjust out of my “fight or flight” reflex. I finally calm down as I pick up my daughter and we return home.  As we get out of the car I notice a large dent on the quarter panel of my car. He punched it hard enough to dent the metal. Previously I was just glad to be out of the situation but now suddenly I was angry at the situation. I should have gotten out of my car and confronted the guy or I should have clipped his new Mercedes as I drove past, or I should have run over him with my car, or I should have…. Eventually I realized that this was all me trying to deal with my anger at the whole situation.

It took me two weeks to finally put it all behind me emotionally but when I did I was finally able to analyze exactly what happened and decide if my responses were adequate. I probably was driving too close to him, however given that we never went faster than 25 mph and the fact that he was not paying any sort of attention to what was going on around him, I don’t feel that justified that kind of anger. When he brake checked me, I did not need to slam on my brakes to avoid an accident, there was plenty of space, and I got the message. I had literally taken my foot off the accelerator (on an onramp mind you) so I feel that my behavior was adequate. Ultimately I needed to pick up my daughter and that was my primary concern so just driving around him was the best solution, even if I did pick up a dent in my quarter panel for my troubles.

Ultimately, I am proud how I handled the situation. I do not typically get into many situations that trigger a flight or fight mode, certainly not ones that devolve into a fight. As he was walking towards my car, I was mentally able to tick off a few options as to what I should do next. I did not panic and I took appropriate action. While I did gain a dent on my car, that was the extent of the damage from the incident. So overall, a win for me. Still, my ego still feels like I ran away from a fight, even though the fight would only exasperate the situation further and make me late.

On the other side of the coin, what was going on with the other guy that this was such an important moment for him? I mean he actually got out of the car and stalked towards me while on an onramp! Obviously he has many issues and feels threatened by others around him (that’s me, arm chair psychologist). I actually feel a little sorry for him, that ten minutes on the road was such a defining moment for him.

How about you? Are you able to handle random incidents as they come up? Can you handle confrontation? Before this incident, I would not have been sure. I’d like to think I wouldn’t turn to jelly, but you just don’t know until it happens. Overall, I’m proud that I could identify threats and options and take the appropriate action. I feel I took the most prudent action based on the circumstances and look at it as an affirmation in me. So consider what you would do in the same situation. Hopefully you will never be confronted by a large tattooed man on the onramp to a highway.